i am having a mini teen life crisis.

i am currently still vacillating between humans programme and bcml. you see, i want to be unconventional and everything, but being the oldest child in the family, you kinda feel a responsibility towards your parents. if you were the younger one at least you still have your older sibling as a buffer when you run into times of need. therefore i feel the pressure to be that "buffer".

of course everyone says that the science stream is the safest and everything, that if you want to go into humans in uni you still can, but if you took humans you couldnt go into science anymore. but well i want to have an enjoyable two years in jc. the thing is, i don't know which one i do better at, and which one i liek better. my two fave subjects are bio and lit. see the problem?

and i enjoy sports very much. i couldnt very well tell my parents i want to be a sports coach right. so i want to go into something related to sports but with a safer source of income. i want to join MCYS. heeeheee. the civil service.

maybe major in sports science/sociology or something. thats my current dream. but i dunno... ive been dreaming of becoming a doc for like, 2 years? ive all but given up on it now. somehow treating people all day long strikes me as depressing now.

but im not sure if going the humans path would secure me a job in the future. as mentioned before, i cant disappoint my parents. and i promised my parents that i would definitely help them out next time with my brother's education. how can i not? my brother is smart too.

sigh. i should be studying chinese now. off i go.