sometimes i wish that i could just forget all the work thats due in the near future and bury my head under the bedcovers and have a nice little nap without any worries.

sometimes i wish that i could just have a day or two, just being able to sit down at my desk, read a good book or magazine, and sip coffee and munch on chocolates with ABSOLUTELY no worries about homework, disturbances, or potential consequences on health.

evidently this hope is very much unfulfillable at this moment in time.

having just found a little time to blog, i have decided to report my uninteresting academic life so far first. our SMP project has finally been accepted into SSEF due to (i think) the intense lobbying of my teacher in charge. i dont know whether to be happy or sad about this, but i guess whatever happens is according to the will of God and i should give thanks to Him for it. so thank You God =)

alright. i seem to be having mood swings nowadays. even cat noticed. i'll be extremely high during certain lessons (eg PE) or english, and do a lot of weird stupid things that even i am beginning to try to understand, and then i stone like siao in other classes or times like recesses and lunches though my behavior in those are still kind of erratic and havent established a certain discernable pattern. maybe it has something to do with the amount of coffee i down in the mornings. hmm.

you see, the more coffee i down the longer the period of time that i'll stay alert, right? the longer the period of time i stay alert the longer i'll be hyper cos im generally not hyper when im tired. and coffee doesnt really make you more alert it just prevents the "tired" signals from going to your muscles or whatever to make you feel tired, so it justs prolongs fatigue. Therefore when the effect of coffee wears off, i'll be even more tired than i was in the morning, making me extremely stone in the later hours of the morning! yay i rock! and no its not a slippery slope -glares at whoever- hahaa.

alrights am very tired now, shall log off. dunno why im so used to sleeping early nowadays that i get tired when i sleep like at 11. die i have no threshold for stress lah. and theres crescent match tomoro. hmm. good outlet for stress? i dunno. let's wait and see (= hahas alrights. shall go do the greta mountain of homework that is waiting for me. sayonara.

i am going crazy. is that bad?

just finished ss pt proposal. thank God that being in rg for an extended period of time enables you to crap your head off. thats essentially what my proposal is x_x but anyway its not assessed so who cares. the more important thing is the final product.

anyway. had a rather eventful weekend. on saturday, met lynette early in the morning at around 7 at bukitbatok mrt to go to rj together. when we reached there the t&f capts already did everything liao so me and lynette basically had nothing to do at all there except to read the really exciting book she borrowed from the library and watch the soccer match going on between the jap school and rj. haha obviously the jap school was better. most of the jap people had long hair (read: guys) and their bimbotic girlfriends were sitting in the stands chatting excitedly. lol. then dora and laufun came cos dora wanted to pass me the cadbury chocolate her sis bought back from australia. hahahaha thanks dora! (though i dont think she knows about this blog's existence. then again, not many people do) lol i alternated between reading the book together with lynette and chatting with dora and laufun and making several trips to the toilet (and the pull-up bars outside the toilet hahahaah) yep was fun but i practically wasted my entire morning. then rushed back home cos pastor and his wife plus another couple from church would be coming to our house for lunch. just came out of the bathroom like minutes before pastor arrived x)

after lunch i did math pt then i fell asleep cos i was so tired. (i woke up at 5.45am okay!) then when i woke up it was 4.30! tf starts at 4.30 every sat. so i was contemplating whether to go for tf or not and i decided to cos or else chrystal would scold me on sunday when she sees me xD she has done that regularly for the past few weeks cos i had been missing tf. i suspect they want to see if i can join tf comm by end of year thats why chrystal's nagging at me to go cos how can you be in comm but not come for sessions? lol but i dunno sats are like my only free days where i can finish hw. and yesterday joel practically forced me to go for guitar lessons in tf from 3 every sat. i dunno if i can make it or not leh. i badly want to learn guitar but should i sacrifice my sat afternoons just like that?

then again i see people like leening who have regular commitments like syo and 3rd lang still and i feel guilty lah. im seriously confused. anyway. as the Lord leads i guess. today pastor's message was "wait upon the Lord." i think its very true =) so i shall apply it! haha.

anyway to wrap up today i went boot-shopping with liping after church. she's the one who needs to buy a pair urgently, not me, and end up i was the one who made a purchase and not her. somehow the boots she chose was not in stock lah hahaha. and mine was. lol.

anwyay got to go now. had high fever this afternoon when i was boot-shopping lah. then came back and slept so feeling better now. hope will be able to play in matches this week.

these days i seem to be becoming increasingly crazy. 408ers and softballers will know what i mean. hahaha. it seems like in the morning im really dead and sleepy then when class comes i suddenly come alive and do and say weird things. lol this morning's singing episode during english proves it all xD

hahaha and im feeling really stressed. today math pt AND ss pt were given out. and both projects' proposals are due next week -.- plus ss pt is 30% of the whole year! thats really crazy lah. if i flunk it i die. -dies-

and for math mrs chew is assigning us our groups. she says she will ask for feedback from other subject teachers before making the groupings -.- lets hope i get someone i can work with and not someone who keeps getting distracted. people like leening and cat and lydia and possibly lichen. it would be a blessing to get lichen in the group, on serious thought. or brenda or christabel. hmmm. the math geniuses.

im becoming more backward in a lot of stuff. nowadays if i score like 60-70% on something im happy. possibly a result of being in rg for so long. and i suspect im gonna suffer burnout sometime soon. softball season starts next week.

dont need to sleep already lah. rgs encourages bad habits no matter what they say about an all-rounded education. number one we had a one hour talk immediately after school today which prevented me from eating lunch until 3.30. hello 3.30's like teatime already lah. stupid jalleh.

number two. we are encouraged to take up leadership roles and stuff but the amount of work we have seriously only allows those with a greater tolerance of sleeping late and greater overall stamina to succeed. and sadly i am not one of them.

number three. rg is SERIOUSLY biased toward gepers. 'nuff said.

number four. it promotes greed. think of the sec four math pt.

this list is not exhaustive but my mind is just too zonked out to be able to go on any more. i have math tuition tonight and im seriously going to die cos i seem to have stopped all thinking. school is already so draining, how to do other things i ask you?

dont come rg if you dont mind. it burns you out.